simply me (",)

Have I moved on?

2005-10-29T00:00:00.000+08:00

It's been quite a while since we last conversed with each other. The last time we texted was October 11. Since then, no communication at all! I've been wondering whether I have gotten over her.

The first thing I did to was to erase her photos on my phone. Second, I deleted her in my phonebook. Third, I deleted her name at my Yahoo messenger. Fourth, I removed her pic in my wallet. Fifth, I removed the thing in my bag which reminded me of her. Lastly, I changed the title of this blog. Now, I completely eradicated anything which could remind me of her. Pero kahit wala na yung mga bagay na yun, lagi ko pa rin siyang naiiisip, naaalala.

Anyways, I was wondering if what I did was right. What if hindi ko sinulat yun? What if I didn't say goodbye? Siguro masaya na ako, or maybe hindi pa rin... nasasaktan pa rin ako. Everytime I'm alone, lagi ko siyang naiisip or maybe, day dreaming. Lagi yun especially pag naglalakad ako papuntang office at 11:30 in the evening. Iniisip ko kung paano kaya kung naging kami? As in sobrang wish ko yun! Maybe I'd be the luckiest guy on the universe and it would definitely feel like I won the lottery. Pero wala na eh. Tapos na.

During the past days, I was contemplating about courting her again. Maybe a second chance. Even if I try really hard, its too difficult to forget about her. Considering the pain that I felt before, dapat hindi na. But I STILL LOVE her! Big time! I've never been this in love before! I wonder how she would feel/react if she reads this. Pero if she does, I want YOU to know that I still love you and I miss you terribly!!!

Come on my loyal blog readers! Tell me what you think. Am I too stupid to do it again? Or am I just too in love? Anyways, post it in the comment section please! Not in the chatterbox.

Thanks y'all!

Maybe... just maybe...

2005-10-25T21:47:00.000+08:00

I think this song would really suit how I feel these days. Still, it concerns the same person. Siya pa rin! Here it goes... "Maybe" originally by Neocolors...

There I was
Waiting for a chance
Hoping that you'll understand
The things I wanna say
As my love went stronger than before
I wanna see you more and more
But you closed your door
Why don't you try
To open up your heart
I won't take so much of your time

CHORUS:
Maybe, it's wrong to say please love me too
'Coz I know you'll never do
Somebody else is waiting there inside for you
Maybe it's wrong to love you more each day
'Coz I know he's here to stay
But I know to whom you should belong
I believed what you said to me
We should set each other free
That's how you want it to be
But my love went stronger than before
I wanna see you more and more
But you closed your door
Why don't you try to open up your heart
I won't take so much of your time

(Instrumental)

I'm hired!

2005-10-16T21:23:00.000+08:00

Last Wednesday, I decided to look for a part-time job. I reapplied to the 2 call centers I went to before, Convergys and ICT Group. I passed all the application steps at CVG but wasn't offered a job because of my previous class schedule. At ICT, I was told that they don't have an evening shift yet.

I first went to CVG Enterprise Tower and tried to apply again. I was called and explained everything to the interviewer. She told me that I should just e-mail my final interviewer and tell her all my concerns and that I'm ready to take the job. After that, I went to ICT and tried my luck there. I arrived at 10am and was interviewed at 3pm! What a looong wait. She told me that I speak too fast. Yes I can speak spontaneously but she said that in call centers, most of the information that you tell the customers are scripted. Anyways, after the interview, I went thru the call simulation stage. I was asked to read a paragraph and tell my reactions about it. I was also asked to read the 50 states of America. I then took the skills test. Some of the items were easy but the others, I didn't have any idea at all! Try asking me about US Time Zones! hehe... Again, I passed it (sooo boring) coz I always do. haha! I was called for the final interview at 6:40pm. And the next thing I knew was that I was going to sign the contract that night! Everything was over within the day and it was all worth it! Plus, the one who gave me the contract and answered my queries about it was very pretty! She looked a lot like Angel Aquino. I hope to see her again and also hopes that she's still single. Haha!

Anyways, the training started the next day, Thursday. The training schedule was 12am to 9am. There were 10 of us: myself, Xtian (from Ateneo) Mark (from PUP), James (currently a networker of First Quadrant), Dennis (formerly from Parlance), Lawrence (a UPD grad with a 94 student no.), Flor (a nursing student), Milette (a former evening part-timer also at ICT), Clayd (from Miriam) and Ashley (from St. Scholastica who acts and looks like Leiya!) As expected, my least like was Ashley. haha... I don't have to explain why.

Our first trainors were the Bejasas. I really like how Francoise Bejasa trained us. She's a lesbian and had Leandro Baldemor as an ex-boyfriend during her college years and Angel Aquino as a girlfriend in 1998. She's pretty, intelligent and speaks really well. She taught us American Culture and American Accent. One tip to acquire the American accent, exaggerate your pronunciation! That's the key!

We'll be handling outbound calls. They told us that we'll be selling credit cards and other credit card related products like card protectors and indentity theft protection. Looking forward to the next training days. It's much shorter that other call centers. Only a week of training then we'll hit the floor! My shift would be from 4am to 8am. And calling all those who also want to work part time or full time, just inform me. I could refer you to the Recruitment people. It's easy and you don't have to sign any bond unlike the others. Ciao!

Who am I?

2005-10-12T22:53:00.000+08:00

Your Personality Is

Guardian (SJ)

You are sensible, down to earth, and goal oriented.
Bottom line, you are good at playing by the rules.

You tend to be dominant - and you are a natural leader.
You are interested in rules and order. Morals are important to you.

A hard worker, you give your all at whatever you do.
You're very serious, and people often tell you to lighten up.

In love, you tend to take things carefully and slowly.

At work, you are suited to almost any career - but you excel in leadership positions.

With others, you tend to be polite and formal.

As far as looks go, you are traditionally attractive. You take good care of yourself.

On weekends, you tend to like to do organized activities. In fact, you often organize them!

The Three Question Personality Test

Birthday Greetings

2005-10-09T22:28:00.000+08:00

I was inspired by what Viktor did with his birthday messages. So, I am also immortalizing some of the text messages I received during this day...

Faiva: Jal!Ü oct9 prn..Abot pko! Happy birthday sayoÜ h0pe u en0yd ur day. God bless! - 11:11pm

Kai: Hapy bday!Ü sna 2 puso m para may reserba k na, jst in case mcra ung isa.Ü - 11:06pm

Iane: Happy bday! San yung handaan? Gft q? J0wk lng.. H0pe ur bday's brng u hapnes! Ü - 11:06pm

Gigi: Happy birthday! Ang aga kasi ng bday alert ng friendster. D ko nalagay sa calendar/reminder ko. Hw young? - 10:58pm

Queenie: HAPPY BIRTHDAY! may u hav many more gorgeous grls 2 cme..heeheeÜ HAPPY BURPDAY! - 10:07pm

AZ: Jal! hehe s0ry late and bati k0..happy birthday!!musta ang labas ny0? -09:05pm

Zion: amen! Happy birthday to you.. may God grant u d grace 2live ur lyf according 2his plan..n may we both cntnue 2grow in frendship! Kisses 2u! Mwah!ù - 08:12pm

Glenis: Jal haller.Happy birthday!Nsa kalgtnaan aq ng mga bulubundukn ng sierra madre. Mwaah! - 07:44pm

Ene: (with picture) Hay! Ang gandah! Ang sop! Happy birthday! - 06:57pm

Lou: cge grit n kta ng hapi b-day basta syo ang handa at me naman ang kakain - 06:51pm

Bhibot: D m b ntanggap? Ay naku. happy birthday jhal!:) m0re blessings 2 c0me..Ü g0d bless.Ü - 06:49pm
Nbti n po kta, madaling araw p po. - 06:43pm

Steph Lleno: gggrrr! i grit at 11:59 pm pra me and last dpt.. hehehe!Ü niunahan mu nako. hmmmp!
hApi hApi bday jal!!! :D hope ur havin a nice day, be hapi kht kalas ha!ÜÜ - 06:44pm

Kate: Ni Hao!Happy birthday p0h! Nwe, db nung 6 bday u.. Tc u olwayz - 06:43pm

Jhackie: Happy bday po! - 05:19pm

April: Jal, hapi berdey!Ü - 04:49pm

Auntie: Happy Birthday! - 03:57pm

Maw: Happy bday.Ü - 03:18pm

Madz: (a quote) dnt let any1 hold ur hapines in dr hands hold it n urs so it wil alwys b wdn ur grasp stay hapi its not merely an emotion... its also a choice! Hapy bday!Ü - 01:12pm

Bia: Happy birthday!Ü - 01:11pm

Stan: Otanjoubi oMedeto!Ü kiotsukette !Ü - 01:03pm

Dom: Happy birthday Jal! - 12:41pm

Nyl: HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAL!!!! c= - 12:29pm

Isha: Gud mrn.Hapy bday jal.Ü - 09:51am

Tin: HapPY birthday Jal! Wish u go0D health and HapPinesS! God blesS you!Ü - 09:15am

Törky: Joyeux anniversaire! Que Dieu te benesse! Ü - 08:46am

Malou: (highschool English teacher, a quote) Let GOD work out d dtails of His plan n Ür lyf. Rmembr, no other BEST exceeds GOD'S BEST.. HAPpy bIrtHdAY!Ü - 05:31am

Received on October 10:

Jen: happy birthday. wehe. saktong 12. - 12:00am

Angel: Waaaah! Iggreet dpt kta ng 11.59 pm kgb pra ako un last pro nk2log ako! Anyway, belated happy birthday na 2loy. Hmp. Happy birthday jal!Ü - 08:31am

Rania: omedeto jal! =D - 06:48pm

Received on October 11:

Fran: belated happy birthday! :-D 08:35pm

Happy Birthday to me!

2005-10-09T12:00:00.000+08:00

Your Birthdate: October 9

Your birth on the 9th day of the month adds a tone of idealism and humanitarianism to your nature.
You become one who can work easily with people because you are broadminded, tolerant and generous.
You are ever sensitive to others' needs and feelings, and you are very sympathetic and compassionate.

Your feeling run deep and you often find yourself in dramatically charged situations.
This 9 energy always tends to give more that it gets.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Title Change

2005-10-03T22:46:00.000+08:00

I have to change my blog's title from "underSTANdably me" because of you-all-know-why reason. Since I can't think of a nice title as of the moment, I'll change it to "simply me" temporarily. Come up with suggestions people!

I'll be posting a more relevant post (how redundant!) as soon as my papers and exams are officially over. And by the way, I'm going to BAGUIO!

Star of the Night

2005-09-25T21:23:00.000+08:00

Ay Lab Ey Pi Es Em!!! Our 22nd anniversary celebration ended with a bang at East Garden bar in Timog. So, so food, lousy service, unjust treatment happened during the entire night. Anyways, we really, really had fun (and this goes out to Sir Quilop as well). We danced, sang all night or maybe all morning... hehe. Guess who the male Star of the Night a.k.a. Best Dressed Awardee was... me!!! I actually had 3 sets of long-sleeve polos to wear but I ended up wearing 2 pieces only. Had 3 bottles of beer and a shot of Gilbey's. My first time to drink gin! Kudos to Val for persuading me to drink one. We left the bar at around 4 am and proceeded to Jollibee Philcoa and wait for Haring Araw to rise. Those who were drunk were: Viktor, Ava, AZ, Crispy, and according to him, Joe. Super saya talaga ng anniv! Next year ulit...
---------------
Grabe! One week na lang and the semester is finally over. Super hirap din nitong week na ito for me. Imagine all my papers are due on the 3rd?! Polsci 152 term paper and essay, Geog 151 term paper, Philo 10 project, Polsci 187 exam. Super hectic week ahead! Goodluck sa akin and to the others as well...
---------------
JB was evicted last Saturday! Thank God!!! Sabi niya before, "Masama bang magdala ng culture dito sa bahay?" Well boy, what kind of culture did you try to bring or share with the other housemates? A culture of backstabbing and endless complaints... You're pathetic! Anyways, he got evicted na naman so I'll let him go. Will Say follow him? Let's all find out in the next couple of days...
---------------
Lapit na rin birthday ko! I'll be 19 na!!! Ano kayang mangyayari? It's the wedding day of a distant relative kasi and my little sister is a flower girl. I dont plan to attend it so I reckoned to arrange something na lang. I'm planning to ask her out and spend my birthday with her. Also, it might serve as a closure to everything that's been happening to both of us. Tama na, sobra ng pahirap! hehe. When that event finally happens, I should change my blog title na. Pag di naman siya pumayag, then I'll be celebrating my birthday all by myself just like last year when I went to Alicia Keys's concert alone. Wag naman sana! Till then...

A Promise to A Friend

2005-09-19T21:24:00.000+08:00

I promised a friend to post her picture taken this afternoon. It was during our organization's Open Tambayan wherein we offer free food to outsiders and allow them to freely roam our tambayan complex. Anyways, I fulfilled my promise! I used the magic (and my little knowledge) of Adobe Photoshop to combine two pictures.
Go PiGel!!!

Join the Oust JB Campaign!

2005-09-18T17:40:00.000+08:00

People, join us in the Oust-JB-from-Big-Brother-House campaign!!! Please vote for Racquel... Text BB Racquel and send to 231 for Smart and its sister companies, 2331 for Globe and Sun Cellular. Vote now!!!

Big Brother's new housemate... He's a Fil-Am and a model of Close-Up:

---------------
UP lost to UST! Waaaahhhhh!!! Sayang talaga ang 0.22 points na lamang ng USTe! Natuwa ako dun sa streamer na "UP Kami. Kayo?" Astig! Mukhang natamaan yung mga taga-UST... daming nag-react against the streamer. Some were answering "4-peat naman kami!" And they're bragging about their Royal and Pontifical status! Who gave you those titles... Spain? The Vatican? Hello! We're in the Philippines!!! Don't brag about that royal status... we know what Spain did to our country. Pontifical? Well not all Filipinos are Catholics. So it doesn't speak for the entire country.

But for UP, it is the TOP and PREMIERE University in this country!!! We don't have much financial resources (we don't charge air-conditioning fee!) and yet we are on TOP! Prove yourselves not only in the cheerdance competition. Pathetic!

Anyways, congrats pa rin sa UP Pep Squad!!! People know who really deserves the plum post! UP FIGHT!!!
---------------
Happy Anniversary to my beloved organization, University of the Philippines Association of Political Science Majors! We remain to be the Primus Inter Pares!
---------------
Erratum: She was not inflicted with dengue. It was german measles.

Goodbye, Rico!

2005-09-11T16:20:00.000+08:00

Haha! My guess was right... Rico was evicted!!! Pero it was a really close fight between him and Racquel. Franzen got a whopping 79 percent of the votes while Racquel got 11. Who'll be evicted next? Well I hope that JB be nominated next week. He really irritates me!

Congratulations to the 2005 Miss APSM!!! From the Finance Committee... Caloi Cajucom!!! Yahoo! Next year ulit...

A sad news... She had dengue last week. She was confined at a hospital in Fairview for I don't know how long. I was about to visit her last Friday pero buti na lang I called her up. I was at Philcoa already to buy fruits then sabi niya she's out of the hospital na daw. Buti na lang tumawag ako, if not, ako pa yung masusurprise pag dating ko dun. Anyways, last week sobrang sama ng loob ko sa kanya. She did something that offended me last last Friday. So ayun, I did not text her until Wednesday when I decided to call her after learning about her status. We talked and she sounded really weak. I said sorry. I don't know why. I left her a message kasi that Friday in her Yahoo Messenger after the sad thing that she did to me. All of a sudden, nag-sorry ako. Maybe kasi na-guilty ako dahil may sakit na pala siya tapos di ko pa alam and galit pa ako sa kanya. Basta nag-sorry ako. Kung yung event nung Friday ang pagbabasihan, hindi dapat ako ang mag-apologize. Wala naman siyang reaction after I said sorry. Pareho lang kaming tahimik. Then I told her na magpahinga na siya and magpagaling siya. We bade goodbyes. It lasted for about 4 minutes. Sana lang makapag-usap na kami ng mahaba-haba when she recovers. Ang dami naming dapat pag-usapan.

I would be typing 11 stars as the world remembers the 9/11 attacks ***********

Who will it be? Franzen, Racquel or Rico?

2005-09-04T19:35:00.000+08:00

The first nomination night of Pinoy Big Brother was held live last Saturday. The process was the housemates would nominate two persons to be evicted from the Big Brother house. The first preference would be given 2 points and the other, 1 point. Previously, Rico was automatically nominated by Big Brother because of his numerous errors and misdeeds. Franzen got 9 points due to his shyness. He rarely talks to the housemates and would rather be left alone. I don't see the need to explain why Racquel was nominated. She had the most number of points which was 11. It is now up to the viewers to choose who will stay.

I voted for Franzen. I think he really needs the jackpot prize. The prize includes 1 million pesos, a house and lot, and a car. On top of that, a chance to be a star. Of the three, my least like is Rico. I pity Racquel kasi and I think she already learned her lesson and like what Say has said, she already changed.

Right now, I don't like JB. He's so mayabang! End of topic.

---------------

Today, I did my Geog 151 paper. My topic was supposed to be about the evolution of the British Parliament but I changed it because it's not geographic. To make it geographic, my professor suggested that I focus on the areas with the most number of MPs. My problem is that they are under district representation. I tried to look for other parliaments but sadly, I didn't find one. All of the parliaments in Europe are under district representation or proportional representation. Walang katulad ang Philippine Senate wherein members are elected at large by the voters. I changed the topic na lang. Taking Steph's suggestion into consideration, I will just study the urbanization of France. Pero wala pa akong review of literature which is due tomorrow. Late na lang ako mag-papass.

Take care everyone!

Gloria alis na dyan!

2005-08-30T21:34:00.000+08:00

I really have to let this feeling out. Warning: foul words ahead...

Putang ina niyo mga majority congressmen! Mga buwisit kayo sa buhay at sa bansa! Ang kakapal ng mukha niyo!!! Hindi niyo ba alam na pera namin ang ginagastos niyo, ang kinukurakot ninyo?!?! Aba, may krisis na nga sa langis ang mga escort niyo pa pagkadami-dami. Lalo ka na, Deputy Speaker for Mindanao! Lagi kitang nakikita at nakakasabay sa Quezon Avenue. Pulang Ford Expedition ang sasakyan mo. Aba, malakas sa gasolina iyan!!!

To Congressmen De Venecia, Pichay, Datumanong, Nachura, Nograles... TAMAAN SANA KAYO NG KIDLAT!!! Ang sarap niyong pagbabarilin! Pinagbigyan na nga ng taong-bayan ang legal na proseso pero anong ginagawa ninyo, tinatarantado niyo! Mas nagigiging garapal at obvious ang ginawang pandaraya ng pinagtatanggol ninyo! Malamang, mag-backfire sa inyo at sa kanya iyan. Imbis na maihayag niya ang panig niya, magpapasakalye na lang kami! Sobra na! Ang kapal na!

Which made me think about the wonderful and touching infomercial of Kilos Bayan. It says... We've changed leaders, constitutions, forms of government. But has anything changed? We have a moral crisis and this calls for a moral revolution. Let the revolution begin regardless of how painful it might be.

Sorry sa mga nagbabasa... Sobrang inis lang talaga ako sa nangyari ngayon sa Kamara de Representante. Buwisit! Dagdag aralin na naman iyan lalo na sa paper na gagawin namin sa PolSc 152. Sabagay okay lang... mahal ko naman si Ma'am Caoili eh.... hehehe (",)

Failed date, Pinoy Big Brother, and other stuff

2005-08-28T19:03:00.000+08:00

I figured out the need to post today (it's been a week since my last post) even though there's nothing much to write.

The "date" last Thursday didn't push through. She texted me around 4:51 am of that day and she said that she's just about to sleep so she's sorry because she's not sure whether she could make it or not. I guess she just came home from her taping. I just told her to text me when she wakes up. She never did. During the ACLE of APSM, I constantly checked my phone for any text message and I even tried to call her several times but I wasn't able to reach her. Anyways, during the film showing, I was still waiting for her text. Suddenly, she texted that she just had a game with her brother and her family will have dinner together. She knew that I was waiting for her. Sana before sila naglaro, she texted me para hindi na ako naghintay.

Of course, malungkot na naman ako nung Friday. It's as if everyone who knew about the date asked me about what happened. Everytime I explain to them what happened, lagi ko siyang naaalala at yung nangyari. Anyways, super nalungkot ako when Faiva told me that she saw "him" leaning over "her" shoulders. Super selos ako dun kasi ang alam ko, hindi siya pumapayag sa ganun especially in public areas. We also leaned over each other's shoulders before pero sa campaign house lang yun and yung nakakakita lang are our housemates. Taking that incident into consideration, nagpahula uli ako kay Törky. Then, the cards told me that nakapili na siya. Suddenly, I felt like my heart sunk. Parang bumagsak sa akin lahat lahat. I took that hula kasi it fits the situation. Angel and Gino talked to me, gave me pieces of advice, and helped me recover for a while. I'll take this opportunity to thank Angel for all sorts of advice that she gave. She's really a true friend and I'm so lucky to have met a kind, strong, talented (Ang TV kid yan!), wonderful friend like her. Until Saturday morning, nagtetext pa siya sa akin. How sweet!

Anyways, I assumed na sila na. I called Tin and she said na nag-usap sila. Tin asked her whether may pag-asa daw ba ako. She told her that wala naman daw akong kuwenta if she says meron then dun pa lang ako mag-pupursige. So maybe meron nga.. hehehe. Nag-sosorry din daw siya dun sa date namin na hindi natuloy. Anyways, Tin doesn't think na sila na. My downward sloping emotional state suddenly became U-shaped like the Average and Marginal Cost Curve. End of story.

I am currently hooked to this new ABS-CBN show, Pinoy Big Brother. I think last Tuesday, super foul yung episode nila. They aired the portion wherein the housmates talked about sex. Words such as "devirginize", "libog", "condom", and "punyeta" were uttered. Foul yun kasi marami pang kids na awake during those times. I foresaw MTRCB to issue a warning to the show. At yun nga ang nangyari. I just hope they will be sensitive to these kinds of issue. First time naman kasi nagkaroon ng this kind of show kaya medyo understandable pa. And natutuwa ako kasi "rock-hard kapusos" are watching the show as well. Diba Jerome? (",)

Anyways, I'm happy that I did well during my 178 exam and the Econ 100.2 second exam. Sayang nga lang dun sa Econ because I already have to take the Final exam. Bad trip! Suwerte rin kasi there will be no classes tomorrow. Di ko pa kasi na-uumpisahan yung book review ko kay Dr. Caoili which is supposed to be due tomorrow so sa Tuesday na siya. I'll work on it tomorrow.

Sige... Take care guys!

Articles about the Philippine situation

2005-08-21T14:41:00.000+08:00

I found this funny yet disturbing article from a friend's blog. It narrates how an ordinary worker, although exaggerated, sees the current Philippine situation. Here it goes: (it's really long...)

BABALA:
ANG SULATING ITO AY NAGLALAMAN NG KAUNTING MARAHAS NA PANANALITA. MARAHIL DALA SA SOBRANG HINANAKIT SA MGA PANGYAYARI SA ATING BANSA. Galing sa isang mamamayang minsan nagmahal sa Pilipinas……….

Walang kwenta ang Pilipinas
By: jawbreaker. (isang ordinaryong office worker na ayaw na magbayad ng tax…ever!)

Hindi ko na mapigilan ang sarili ko. Sukang-suka na ko sa mga nangyayari sa bansang ‘to!

Walang katapusang corruption, walang kamatayang pangbabatikos, pagbabatuhan ng tae at pagpapa-taasan ng ihi ng mga pulitiko sa bawat isa, walang tigil na imbestigasyon ng kung ano-anong isyu pero wala namang matinong resolusyon, walang puknat na pag-aagawan ng kapangyarihan sa pagitan ng mga partido, patuloy na pagdami ng tamad at tangang Pilipino, patuloy na pakikipaglaban ng ideolohiyang wala namang silbi.

Ang gobyerno ng Pilipinas, talo pa ang septic tank na hinihigop ng Malabanan - saksakan ng dumi at napakabaho. Kaya hindi nakakapagtaka na ang Pilipinas ang isa sa pinakamahirap at corrupt na bansa sa mundo. Kasi lahat sila bulok, lahat sila walang kwenta. Lahat sila sugapa sa kapangyarihan at sa pera.

ANAK NG TETENG! !$#%Q!&!* @!!!!!
KAHIT KRISTIYANO AKO, HINDI KO MAPIGILANG MAGMURA AT HILINGIN SA DIYOS (MINSAN NGA PATI SA DEMONYO) NA MAMATAY NA SILANG LAHAT AT I-BBQ SILA NG HABANG-BUHAY SA IMPIERNO.
SINONG “SILA”? EH DI
1.MGA CORRUPT NA GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS AND WORKERS,
2.MGA TAMBAY NA PILIPINO NA ANG LALAKI NG KATAWAN PERO HINDI NAMAN NAGTRATRABAHO AT HINDI NAGBABAYAD NG TAX,
3.MGA MAYAYAMAN AT ARTISTANG TAX EVADERS,
4.PATI MGA AKTIBISTA, NPA AT IBA PANG IDEOLOGICAL GROUPS NA HINDI NAGBABAYAD NG TAX PERO PANG-GULO!!! MAMATAY NA KAYO!!!

Lagi na lang sinasabi ng mga pulitiko: Ipaglaban ang masa! Tulungan ang masa! Mahalin ang masa! PUNYETA! MASA LANG BA ANG TAO SA PILIPINAS?
SINO BA TALAGA ANG BUMUBUHAY SA PUNYETANG BANSANG TO?
SAAN BA GALING ANG PANGPAGAWA NG MGA TULAY AT KALYE? SAAN BA GALING ANG PORK BARREL? SAAN BA GALING ANG PERANG KINUKURAKOT NYO?
KAMI NA MGA MANGGAGAWA AT MIDDLE CLASS NA BAGO PA MAKUHA ANG SWELDO BAWAS NA - KAMI ANG BUMUBUHAY SA WALANG KWENTANG BANSA NA ‘TO!!!!!!!!!
BAKIT YANG BANG MGA MASANG YAN NA LAGI NA LANG SENTRO NG PLATAPORMA NG MGA PULITIKO EH NAGBABAYAD BA NG TAX???!!!! F**K YOU! KAHIT ISA SA MGA NAG-RA-RALLYING MGA SQUATTER NA YAN, KAHIT SINGKO HINDI NAG-RE-REMIT YAN SA BIR!

PERO PINAPAKINGGAN BA KAMI NG GOBYERNO? LAGI NA LANG OPINYON NG MASA ANG INIINTINDI NG GOBYERNO. KUNG SINO ANG NAG-RA-RALLY, SA EDSA, SILA ANG NASUSUNOD. KUNG SINO ANG MAS MALAKAS SUMIGAW PERO WALA NAMANG ECONOMIC CONTRIBUTION, SILA LAGI ANG FOCUS PAG MAY PROBLEMA. SILA LAGI ANG BIDA.

KAMING MGA ORDINARYONG OFFICE WORKERS, OFW’S, LABORERS AT IBA PANG NAG-TRA-TRABAHO AT NAGBABAYAD NG TAX - KAMI ANG NAGPAPAKAHIRAP PARA BUHAYIN ANG PILIPINAS.
KAMI ANG MGA TUNAY NA BAYANI NG BANSA!!!

Tuwing nakikita ko ang payslip ko, nag-iinit ang ulo ko at gusto kong maiyak sa inis. Napakalaki ng tax na binabawas sa akin pero ginagamit lang sa walang kwentang bagay ang perang pinaghirapan ko.
Lahat ng pagtitipid ginagawa ko para suportahan ang sarili ko, pamilya ko at ang punyetang bansang to. Ni hindi ako makabili ng chicken and spaghetti meal sa Jollibee kahit gutom na gutom na ko. Nag-tya-tyaga ako sa waffle na tig-P10, o kaya pag may konting pera, junior bola-bola siopao sa Mini-Stop sa halangang P20.
Eh kung yung pera ko na pinapangbabayad sa tax sa kin na lang napunta, eh di sana nakakapanood pa ko ng sine at least 2 beses sa isang buwan. Nakabili na sana ako ng bagong rubber shoes. Nakapagpagawa na sana ako ng sarili kong bahay.
Yung tax na binabayad ko, karamihan nun derecho sa bulsa ng mga corrupt na mga government officials at workers. Habang hirap na hirap akong i-budget ang pera ko, sila naman nagpapakasarap sa mga mansyon. SUV’s at luxury cars pa ang dina-drive nila, samantalang ako sa pedicab lang sumasakay!

P****** INA! PERA KO YANG PINAPAGPAPASASAAN NYO!!!!! Yung tax na binabayad ko, pinapangsuporta sa mga mahihirap. Saan ba galing ang pera pangpagawa ng housing at pagtulong sa mga mahihirap, di ba sa mga manggagawa na nagbabayad ng buwis! Pero karamihan ng mahihirap, kung umasta kala mo inaapi sila ng sobra.

SA TOTOO LANG NO, KAYA ANG MGA MAHIHIRAP LALONG NAGHIHIRAP KASI MGA TAMAD!
Ang daming mga tambay sa kalye na walang trabaho pero ang laki ng katawan. Eh kung sila ba nagkargador sa pier eh di sana may pera sila.
TAPOS WALA NA NGANG PERA, ANAK PA NG ANAK! PUNYETA! LALO NYO LANG PINAPADAMI ANG TAMAD AT TANGA SA MUNDO!!!!!
Naaawa ako sa mga batang pakalat-kalat sa kalye at namamalimos. Imbes na nag-aaral, dumadagdag lang sila sa bilang ng mga future criminals sa Pinas. Hindi ako magtataka na yung batang nakita kong namamalimos sa Cubao, pagkatapos ng ilang taon cellphone snatcher na.
YUNG MGA MAGULANG NAMAN DYAN, COMMON SENSE LANG! HIRAP NA HIRAP NA NGA KAYO SA BUHAY, MANGDADAMAY PA KAYO NG IBA?! PAPARAMIHAN NYO PA LAHI NYO!
Palibhasa walang mga trabaho at walang pinagkaka-abalahan, kaya nagkakalabitan at nagsusundutan na lang maghapon, magdamag. Sa totoo lang, nakakabilib. Kasi kahit sa ilalim ng tulay o sa kariton lang, nakakabuo pa rin ng bata! Ibig sabihin, maabilidad ang mga Pinoy. Kung gugustuhin, gagawan ng paraan. Kahit sa makipot, mabaho at maduming lugar - SOLVE!

Isa pang mga grupo ng tao na nakakainis, yung mga aktibista, NPA at kung ano-ano pang ideological political groups. Sabi nila, mahal na mahal nila ang Pilipinas kaya pinagpalalaban nila ang kanilang mga adhikain.
PUNYETA! EH HINDI RIN KAYO NAGBABAYAD NG TAX! ANG KAKAPAL RIN NG MGA MUKHA NYO!
MGA IPOKRITO! MAHAL DAW ANG PILIPINAS AYAW NAMAN MAGBAYAD NG BUWIS!
BAKIT MAY BIR COLLECTOR BA SA GITNA NG MENDIOLA AT EDSA?! MAY TAX COLLECTION BA SA BUNDOK?!
WALA DIN NAMAN KAYONG MGA TRABAHO! KUNG MAY TRABAHO TALAGA KAYO, HINDI KAYO MAG-RA-RALLY DAHIL SAYANG ANG SWELDO NYO PAG ABSENT KAYO!
PAANO NYO MAIPAPAKITA ANG PAGMAMAHAL NYO SA PILIPINAS KUNG WALA NA KAYONG GAWANG MATINO KUNDI MAG-RALLY AT MAMUNDOK??!!!
ISA PA YANG MGA MAYAYAMAN AT MGA ARTISTA, NA NANGDADAYA AT HINDI NAGBABAYAD NG BUWIS. ANG KAKAPAL NG MUKHA NYO! ANG DAMI NYO NA NGANG PERA NANGDADAYA PA KAYO SA TAX!!!! HINDI NYO NAMAN MADADALA SA IMPIERNO YANG MGA KAYAMANAN NYO. MASUSUNOG LANG DUN YAN.
KAYA LALONG BUMABAGSAK ANG NEGOSYO DITO SA PILIPINAS, KASI MGA NEGOSYANTE MANDARAYA. PATI SHOWBIZ INDUSTRY, BAGSAK NA DIN. KARMA ANG TAWAG DYAN. MGA BALASUBAS KASI.
Sana magkaron ng POLITICAL AND NATIONAL CLEANSING.
Alisin (mas maganda kung patayin na lang) ang lahat ng pulitiko at political families sa puwesto. Tibagin ang lahat ng mapanirang organizations at grupo. Itapon sa malayong isla o kaya i-pwersa ng hard labor ang mga sobrang tamad na mga Pilipino. Ihiwalay ang mga bata sa kanilang mga tamad at tangang magulang upang makapag-aral sila at maturuan na maging mabuting tao at mamamayan. Magkaron ng bagong lider na walang political ties at utang na loob sa kahit sino. At higit sa lahat, dapat tax payers lang ang pwedeng bumoto!
Kung kinakailangang magka-giyera para magtino ang mga Pilipino, ayos lang. Masyado na kasing matigas ang ulo ng mga tao dito. Gusto ng kalayaan, pero hindi naman handang panagutan ang responsibilidad ng pagiging malaya. Meron daw pinaglalaban na prinsipyo at adhikain pero takot namang mamatay para dito.
(Sa mga nakaka-alam sa anime na Gundam Wing, yan ang inspirasyon ko sa new Pinas hehe. I love you Zechs! I love you Treize!)

Hangga’t hindi nagkakaron ng radical change, patuloy na walang kwenta ang Pilipinas at patuloy na magiging tanga ang majority ng mga Pilipino.
Sa dami ng nag-mi-migrate na Pilipino sa ibang bansa, dadating ang panahon na minority na lang ng population sa Pilipinas ang may utak. Yung mga magagaling na Pilipino, malamang maubos na. Sobra na kasi silang na-fru-frustrate at na-de-depress sa mga nakikita nila.

Ilang taon pa at aalis na rin ako sa Pilipinas. Wala kong balak na magkaron ng pamilya sa isang bansa na hindi pinapahalagahan ang kontribusyon ng mga taong tunay na bumubuhay dito. Kawawa naman ang magiging anak ko kung dito sya mabubuhay.

Sa totoo lang, broken hearted ako. Minahal ko din ang bansang ito. Pilit kong pinagtatanggol kahit bulok. Nakarating na ko ng ibang bansa, pero pinili kong bumalik. Pero ngayon, ayoko na. Suko na ko. Sayang lang ako sa bansang to. Simple lang naman ang hiling ko. Gusto ko lang mabuhay ng tahimik at maayos. Gusto ko na kahit paano eh maipagmalaki ang Pilipinas.Pero wala eh. Doomed to be jologs ang bansang to.

After that blog entry, someone posted this comment:

WE THE JOLOGS: A Reaction to Jawbreaker’s “Walang Kwenta ang Pilipinas”

I am working class, I pay my taxes, I am an “ordinary office worker,” I know how it feels….. but this person, whoever he or she is, does not speak for me. While the writer did not claim that he was speaking for anyone but himself, the same passion that compelled him to compose his message is the same passion which compels me now to say my piece.

I write this for several reasons. First, the email (or more accurately, the blog entry) now circulating, as strongly-worded as it is, is bound to reach more and more people and lest more are led to believe that most of us think in the same vein, I have to say that we do not, or at least I don’t. Second, many of his statements do a great many Filipino grave disservice. Third, it is time to speak.
I am just as sick of the corruption and the scandals and the politicking. Pagod, sawa, at sukang-suka sa walang katapusang pagbabangayan, tama siya doon! Ang gobyerno ng Pilipinas ay saksakan ng dumi at baho… tama ulit! We are all sick of watching these politicians fight over positions in goverment like rabied dogs, all in the name of public service kuno when in fact the only interest they ever serve is their own. But this issue goes so far beyond politics! Sino nga bang kawawa sa mga nangyayari ngayon? Kahit naman anong mangyari doon sa itaas, wala naman sa kanila ang maghihirap. Even if Gloria resigns or is removed from office, she’s not going to end up anywhere near the poor house scrounging for a daily living. Lahat sila, administrasyon, oposisyon, militar, the big business players… all those powers that be who seem to be driving the country further and further into the depths of oblivion… they have nothing to lose except the opportunity to accumulate more wealth at our expense. If this country does self-destruct, all they have to do is hop on an airplane and fly, business class at that, to some other country.

At sino ang maiiwan dito? Tayo. The so-called “middle-class”… and the so-called “masa”. Sama-sama tayong maiiwan dito to drown in the muck. And because of this, I see no distinction between the purported middle-class and the masa anymore, definitely not one that will help us in these trying times. To hang on to the notion that our interests are different is myopic. To believe that the middle-class have more at stake is arrogant. To continue to keep a line between “them” and “us” is elitist and wrong. It also borders on prejudice, which is unacceptable. This kind of hatred is just as bad as greed.

Look around you. Unless you are surnamed Ayala (exception na lang siguro si Joey Ayala) or Cojuangco or Gokongwei or what have you…. working or not, MASA ka rin! So what if you dress better, or went to a private school, can speak decent English, or listen to Coldplay instead of April Boy? Does it make you more of a person? Does it make you more deserving of a better life? Does it make you more entitled to decent service from an honest government? All it makes you is, well, better-dressed and eligible for a higher tax bracket.
You know what the real differences are? The real difference between “us” and “them” is that while “we” complain about not being able to afford a fancy dinner at some expensive restaurant or buy a new pair of sneakers or get the latest cellphone, “they” worry about where to get money for their next meal. “They” worry about diseases like pneumonia and TB and not having even a hundred bucks to even go to a doctor to ask for a prescription that they won’t be able to afford to buy anyway. Our children give up going to the movies; their children give up fare money and walk to school, if they are able to still go to school in the first place. The taxes that you pay may mean an out-of-town family vacation. The taxes that according to you they don’t pay could spell the difference between life and death. THAT is the difference.

Paying your taxes does not make you better than anyone else. Haven’t you thought about the fact that so many Filipinos are exempt from paying taxes precisely because they are too poor to pay any tax?
And for sure, kahit kailan hindi sila naging bida. Kahit kailan, hindi sila nasunod. Kahit kailan, hindi sila ever pinakinggan ng gobyerno. Pinarada si Mang Pandoy dati, yung tatlong bata naman nung panahon ni Gloria, pero nasaan na sila ngayon? The Government has always claimed to but has NEVER actually championed their cause. EDSA I? Mind you, hindi yun laban ng mga jologs na masa. Laban yun ng lahat ng Pilipino, led foremost by the middle-class! Lalo naman ang EDSA II which put Gloria in power. That was almost a purely middle-class movement. Maybe you’re talking about the so called mob which rally to support Erap at every opportunity, but they have not been heard. More importantly, they do not properly represent the poor of this country. The “masa” can be found not only in Metro Manila; they are scattered all across these 7,107 islands of ours. High tide or low tide, they have never been empowered. They remain desolate and neglected and oppressed. True, pag kampanya sila ang bida sa plataporma, pero pagkatapos hindi ba yung mga crony na business tycoons at foreign investors din naman and naghahari? And you will deny them their right to basic government service? No need, because the Government never served them anyway.

And besides, OO, tayong working class ang nagbabayad ng buwis at OO dahil dun nabubuhay ang Pilipinas. But do you know who really keeps this country afloat, albeit barely? The farmers! The fishermen! Those people who still somehow keep the agricultural sector going. They feed you and me. Literal pa yan! Economically, agriculture is still our major industry. By traditional definitions, I’m sure kasama sila sa masa na sobrang kinagagalitan mo. Will you deny them their proper place in keeping this country alive for all of us? They probably contribute more than both you and I do. Besides, the way things are going right now, meron pa bang tao na hindi nagbabayad ng buwis one way or the other? Yung mga big-time tax evaders, tama, sa kanila ka magalit. Pero wag doon sa maliliit na wala namang magawa.

Totoo, nakakainis ang mga tamad. At totoo naman na maraming tamad sa Pilipinas. But the poor do not have a monopoly of the indolence in this country. At sa totoo lang, hindi sila mahirap dahil tamad sila. I find it tyrannical, and such a terrifying recall to the Spanish colonial era, that some people still seem to think so. As much as there are lazy people in the squatters of Tondo, there are just as many lazy people in Forbes Park. The only difference is that they have Daddy’s money to disguise their lack of productivity. At kahit tamad sila, hindi sila nagugutom.

Totoo, may mahihirap na hindi umaangat kasi tamad. Pero karamihan sa mahihirap humihirap dahil kahit anong gawin nila, hindi sila nabibigyan ng pagkakataong umayos ang buhay. Do we really believe the poor are content with their poverty and do not try to do all in their power to change their fate? Tell that to the driver of the next pedicab you ride.

The bare naked truth is, in most cases, they are simply not given the opportunity to prosper. For one, Government does not give them the education they need and deserve to equip and empower them to do better. And there’s the capitalist economy of consumption and excess, where profit is the end that justifies any means, which simply will not let anyone other than the key players and investors and top-level executives have any share of the wealth. I find it strange that you shouldn’t see this. You are the best example of what I mean. You complain of having to content yourself with a 10 peso waffledog at Mini-stop instead of your favorite value meal at Jollibee… yet you work your butt off, don’t you? Hindi ka tamad, pero yumaman ka na ba? Like I said, masa ka rin. The simple fact is, for poor people like us, there is a much bigger hurdle than the fight against one’s own “tamaditis.”

You also attack those activitists who take to the streets. Unang-una, sana ihiwalay mo yung mga tunay na aktibista dun sa mga binayaran lang ng kung sinong pulitiko para manggulo. Hindi lahat ng nakikipaglaban sa kalsada walang trabaho at tamad at hindi nagbabayad ng buwis at nagbibilad sa araw para lang manggulo. There are those of them, and believe me there are many, who are decent hard-working people. They sacrifice time that could otherwise have been spent with their families to fight for what they believe in. They sacrifice the daily wages they might otherwise earn precisely because they feel that it is the future of their children at stake. And it is precisely because they are the disadvantaged lot that their sacrifices are even more proportionately significant. More than income, they have sacrificed life and limb for this country, and will do so again if the need arises. For anyone to scoff at this, no matter how much we disagree with the form their ideology takes, is disrespectful and cruel. It is an insult to those who have made such sacrifices, to their families who have made the sacrifices with them, and to those of us who still believe that this country, damned as it seems to be, is still worth fighting for.

Besides, ano nga bang masama sa ideolohiya? You use it like it was a bad word. What is ideology, really, but a principle by which we aspire to achieve our ideals? And what are our ideals? Better lives for ourselves and our families? A better future for our children? To live in a peaceful and just society, where there is enough for all and no one is hungry or poor or uneducated? To be called a great nation and take pride in our citizenship? Isn’t that the ideal we all strive for? Ikaw, yun lang din naman ang gusto mo di ba? The ideologies may vary, but still, the ideals are the same. Bottomline: we all want the same thing. Masa man o middle class, (kahit nga yung mga mayayaman at corrupt na pulitiko, nasobrahan lang sila), we all want the same thing. Kelan ba kasi naging synonymous ang ideology sa idealismo at ang idealismo sa imposible? It is precisely because we have abandoned our ideals and idealism that we are in the muck. It is precisely because we have been so frustrated by our experiences that just the mere mention of the word “ideology” makes us cringe and turn away. But if all these ideologies die, then how will we even start to strive for our ideals? Siguro nga tama ka, mamatay na nga silang kumakapit pa sa prinsipyo at ideolohiya. Mamatay na tayong lahat.

We have different ways of fighting for what we believe in, different ways of contributing. Some of us take to the streets, some of us stand quietly by but in our hearts we protest the injustices that surround us and in our own ways, we do what we can. But I say, better do something than nothing at all. To give up now will do nothing but assure our doom.

The present political crisis is more than just political. True, this needs to be resolved and at the soonest possible time. But however which way this plays out… what we need to assure is that we do not let this happen again. Like I said, tayo ang kawawa. Buti sana if the effects of these political upheavals are contained only amongst those people who keep on playing musical chairs with the seats of power. Pero hindi eh. Lahat tayo, apektado. From ordinary office workers to the jobless man with five mouths to feed waiting at home, tamad man o hindi, we are the ones who suffer. These political maneuverings have translated into decades of poverty for so many and that makes me sick and livid with anger. It makes my heart break. And we are all accountable for that. Yes, all of us. And merely paying our taxes does not make us blameless.

We are accountable in so many ways that may seem innocuous but are just as dangerous nonetheless. We are accountable when we vote for a person because of nothing else than kababayan natin siya, or tatay siya ng kaklase natin sa elementary, o nakikita natin siya sa pelikula, o gwapo siya o maganda. We are accountable when we go to the LTO and bribe the employees there so we don’t have to spend two hours in line. We are accountable when we solicit favors from politicians and public servants and contribute to the prevalence of patronage politics. We are accountable when we allow our friends or relatives to solicit (or grant!) those favors. We are accountable when we engage in business practices that deprive laborers of their fair and just wages just so we could keep our profit levels as high as we possibly can with nary a thought of how we owe to our employees not just to give them wages but to raise their quality of life. We are accountable when, in the name of job and investment generation, we develop industries and technologies that wreak havoc on the environment and the health of local communities thereby effectively pushing them once and for all into a place of irrevocable poverty and true disenfranchisement.More so we are accountable when we sit by and say nothing or do nothing to register our dissent and make things change. We are our own worst enemies. But, we could also be our own best friends.

I say this to you in fellowship and with respect for the great love you have for our country, which is obvious in spite of your disillusion and decision to give up. Go. Be the proverbial rat who abandons the sinking ship. Save yourself and pursue the life you want. You have a right to it. Iwan mo kaming bayan ng mga jologs.
Like I said, I respect your opinion. Hindi kita inaaway, and if I sound like it, I apologize. Actually, ito naman talaga ang punto ko: Hindi tayo ang magkaaway dito, just as much as I believe na hindi yung mga aktibista sa kalye o mahihirap na hindi makapagbayad ng buwis and kaaway mo. I cannot accept that they should deserve this kind of ire. And I find it counterproductive, to say the least, to put the impoverished majority of this country on the other side of the fence. You are angry, which is how most of us feel, but your anger is somewhat misdirected. Para sa akin, nakakatakot kung ganyan ngang mag-isip talaga ang lahat ng “middle-class.” Rage against the corrupt and greedy people in power and I will rage with you. Rage against those who resort to murder and terrorism to get what they want. But please, spare the rest of us who just like you, flawed as we are, are just victims here.

And herein lies the crux: we may be victims here, but we are not helpless. We have to fight together. We must exercise discernment and distinguish propaganda from truth. Now is not the time to point fingers at each other and call each other names and wish each other one-way trips to hell. We must identify who and what the real enemies are; and in my heart of hearts, I know that I will not find them in the shantytowns of Manila.

There is so much that ails our country. There is something so terribly wrong when you live in a society where some people can afford 700,000 peso TV sets while just a few feet away there are children dying of malnutrition. The fact that even people with the greatest love for this country give up and leave, is the saddest commentary of all. As urgent as the need to change the people who govern us, is the need to change so many of the intrinsic things that make our systems and institutions so vulnerable to manipulation by the few. Not the least of these things is our own individual tolerance. There is much work to be done. And it must start, now.

You’re right. What we need is radical change. A revolution is in order. A real one. One that will go beyond changing the names of the people we empower to abuse us. Take that statement however which way you want. Take it to the streets, if you will. But my real prayer is that you take it to your heart. Evaluate. Discern. Participate. Change. Sacrifice. Hope. Act.

And yes, leave if you must. I wish you the best of luck, too. And one day, I hope that you will come back to a Philippines that we, the jologs, will have rebuilt to make you proud.

Presidential Greetings

2005-08-20T20:51:00.000+08:00

First, I would like to greet the "True President of the Philippines" a very happy birthday. Happy Birthday President Fernando Poe Jr.!

Some people know that I worked with the FPJ Communication Group last May 2004. I worked with brilliant people such as Joel Paredes (former Philippine Information Agency chief during President Estrada's administration), Toinette Raquiza, Marivic Nemenzo (one of the proponents of the Blueprint for a Viable Philippines), Lolo writer (I actually forgot his name already but he was the oldest in the group and his mentor was actually Claro M. Recto!). These people would have been good public servants if the sovereign will of the people was not pre-empted or the elections rigged. Anyways, Tuloy ang Laban!

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I just had our second exam in Economics 100.2. It was still difficult although I was able to answer the questions smoothly. I guess I was able to study better this time.

Next week, I would be focusing on my PolSci 152 (the subject which I really love!) book review. I'll be reviewing the book by the Laquians entitled "The Erap Tragedy: Tales from the Snake Pit". I guess you wouldn't be wondering why I chose that book. hehe (",)

I will also be doing the required paper in Geography 151 or the Geography of Europe. I'll be researching on the evolution of the British Parliament which is very "polsci-ish". Calling for people who can help me on this one. Thanks!

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Just four days left before we "hang-out" on the 25th. I hope it will turn out right. I hope I will be able to score a lot of points. Ü I am not expecting a resolution come Thursday but I hope it will let her consider the love that I feel for her. It will let her think about "us" and let her ponder about my status in her life. I pray na mangyari lahat ito. Pray with me please!

Last Thursay, hinulaan ako ni Törky. I guess her "guesses" or her card readings (?) are right. Sabi niya tama yung nakalagay dito na sinabi niya. She's not yet ready and still prioritizes her career, acads. Marami daw akong kalaban but only one is the real competition. Her heart is between my card and the other guy's card. Nag-iisip na daw siya between the two of us but she's not deciding yet. Kaya it's my chance na on the 25th. Arriba!

Just want to share someting I got from Peyups.com about "him". This is directly from the post of her supposedly "ex-girlfriend":

hindi nawawala sa isang relasyon ang tampuhan o away! we've been through thick and thin for 5 years! ["he"] knows how we really struggle to fight for everything we have left.... and if there's any problem that come along our path, we settle it PRIVATELY and PROFESSIONALLY!

Take care everyone!

American Dream

2005-08-14T22:06:00.000+08:00

I've just learned this afternoon that my mom is planning to work abroad. Someone's offering her a job at New York that would pay her an amount she couldn't earn here... in our sad country. Well, in matters such as jobs and businesses, my mom always talk to me about it. Maybe she wants to hear my opinion and she knows that I am a business minded person. Yeah, I am. I actually used to sell different stuffs way back in pre-school. A very young entrepreneur, huh?

Anyways, she's been courting my nod to her plan. She's been bribing me woth a lot of things but I always answer: NO! You couldn't go. Below is a list of her sweet deals:

A new cellphone? - NO!
A car? - NO!
A new bedroom? - NO!
A good education? - NO!
A bright future for me and my sisters? - NO!
A lot of money? - NO!

You might think I'm selfish not to allow her. I'm not. I'm just thinking of what might happen. She's sick. She has Rheumatic Heart Disease. Who would take care of her there when she's ill? Nobody. We don't have relatives in New York!

Bottom line is, it's not her responsibility. Of all people, it should be my Dad who's doing everything for the family and the future. But sadly, I don't see his effort. What's he waiting for? Is he contented with his family's current state? Me, I'm not!

I don't know if in the future, she'll be able to convince me. I think I have to study the contract, do a background check on her employer, and see the working environment and the community. But as of now, if she leaves, I'm gone!

I'm excited, nervous!

2005-08-12T19:05:00.000+08:00

This would be my last post regarding this topic.

At 9:44 am today, I received a text message from her. It says: "Cn we hang out on d 25th?Ü" I really wondered (and still wondering) about the reason behind that invitation. I didn't reply pa nga kaagad and I also consulted some people about it. Kinakabahan ako kasi anything might happen. It will either be a positive or a negative one. I hope and pray that it would be positive.

Galing niya tyumempo (tama ba spelling?) Everytime I feel depressed or masama ang loob ko sa kanya, lagi siyang nagpaparamdam after. Siguro nararamdaman niya yung nararamdaman ko. Uuyy... soulmates???

Anyways, I'll hold my piece until the 25th. Bahala na si Batman! Pag-pray nyo kami na maayos na lahat. Salamat sa lahat ng taong nagbasa, nag-comment, naki-simpatya sa nararamdaman ko. Hanggang sa muli (sana wala na...)
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It's 9:50 pm already... she's been running around my mind the entire day. Di pa kaya siya napapagod??? hehe (",) I love you...

Sana Maulit Muli and other stories

2005-08-11T19:46:00.000+08:00

Our Geog 151 professor did not meet us today. We were supposed to view another film but he said that we should rather study for the second round of the exam on Monday. Incidentally, I also wished that the class would be cancelled. She's my classmate kasi and I don't want to feel uncomfortable during the class.

On my way home today, I saw her with a girl at the University Avenue... sa may checkpoint. I wonder where she's been. It's either she's been to Tree House or went somewhere else in the vicinity. Ayaw ko ng mag-isip kung saan.

I also posted yesterday that I got an information that he fetched her last Saturday at Philcoa after the UP game. I remember that I called her around 8 pm and she didn't answer it. I again called her maybe about an hour later but still, no response. I wonder, was it because she was with him?

One time, she asked our common friend if she knew what I wanted to tell her. The friend said she didn't know and further said "Lagi ka naman daw kasing hindi puwede." She answered, "Kung sa inyo nga wala akong time eh, sa kanya pa kaya?" Fine. I accept that pero sana lang fair treatment diba? Sana wala siyang time para sa "aming" lahat. But no! I constantly receive reports from my DPAs about them. Bakit ba tuwing ako ang nag-iinvite, lagi kang hindi puwede? I remember you agreed to go out with me when I invited you after the pageant. It never happened.

When I hear this song, I can't help but reminisce our happy times together. While having lunch at CASAA, while going from room to room during the campaign (we're occasionally teammates), while having dinner with our partymates, when we ate snack at Yellow Cab (courtesy of Kat) and going back to UP in Paolo's car where we got lost, cracked jokes, and laughed. Sana maulit muli yung mga panahong iyon.

Sana Maulit Muli

Gary Valenciano

Sana'y maulit muli
Ang mga oras nating nakaraan
Bakit nagkaganito
Naglaho na ba ang pag-ibig mo

Sana maulit muli
Sana bigyan ng pansin ang himig ko
Kahapon, bukas, ngayon
Tanging wala nang ibang mahal

CHORUS:
Kung kaya kong iwanan ka
Di na sana aasa pa
Kung kaya kong umiwas na
Di na sana lalapit pa
Kung kaya ko sana

Ibalik ang kahapon
Sandaling di mapapantayan
Huwag sana nating itapon
Pagmamahal na tapat

Kung ako'y nagkamali minsan
Di na ba mapagbibigyan
O giliw, dinggin mo ang nais ko

(CHORUS)
Kung kaya ko sana
Ito ang tanging nais ko
Ang ating kahapon
Sana maulit muli

Kung ako'y nagkamali minsan
Di na ba mapagbibigyan
O giliw...
Dinggin mo ang nais ko
Ang nais ko

(CHORUS 2x)
Mahal pa rin kita
O giliw... o giliw

A song for the heartbroken

2005-08-10T12:11:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, my Philo 10 professor asked us to write the song that would represent our mood for the day. Here was mine:

Even If

Lea Salonga

All those sleepless nights

All the tears I cried

All the pain I kept inside

I kept asking myself why

You had to say goodbye

Was it just a dream

When you said to me

That there is someone new in your life

You could have at least lied

The truth just scared me

Chorus:

Even if...

You mean the whole damn world to me

I can forget you, wait and see

I can be strong even without you

I can’t waste my life forever

Hoping you’d come back to me

But deep inside I know

I’ll be waiting here for you

(instrumental)

Even if...

You mean the whole damn world to me

I can forget you, wait and see

I can be strong even without you

I can’t waste my life forever

Hoping you’d come back to me

But deep inside I know

I’ll be waiting here for you

Love still hurts!

2005-08-09T21:40:00.000+08:00

I'm on the second day of being extremely lonely. This afternoon, I received new information about "her" and "him", collectively, "them". I'm hurt that I heard several sightings of them being together. He was sighted several times at Matimtiman St. in Teachers Village. He also fetched her last Saturday at Philcoa after the UP Fighting Maroons basketball game. Now I think you know why I don't like to watch the game at Araneta, and why I don't like the team right now. I won't be surprised anymore if tomorrow or next week, I'll hear that they're officially "on" na. I hope not. For the mean time, I won't concede. I won't accept defeat. I'll just think.

It makes me ponder if this week is really an unlucky one. Several of my orgmates also have problems. I saw Faiva crying. Precious and Andrew broke up. I wonder who's next.

I have to concentrate and study for my Pol Sc 178 exam on Thursday, but I can't seem to focus. During the next few days, you might see that I am okay. I won't be (at least in the near future). I feel so helpless. I feel that I am a loser. I feel so alone. I feel so empty.

Nahihirapan na ako! Bakit ba kailangang ganito ang mangyari? I'm hoping that one of these days, I'll sleep very deeply and never to wake up again.

Love hurts! Trust me... It does!

2005-08-08T21:46:00.000+08:00

It was really a sad and painful day for me. I wished that this day would be a special one but it didn't turn out right. Let me share with you some parts of the story of my life.

The first time I fell in love was during my sixth grade. I got into this relationship with a beautiful girl named Maricar. The relationship went fairly well during its early stages or months. But after some time, it no longer worked. I didn't know who's to blame in the break-up. Maybe it was because we were both too young then and still immature. It was really a painful separation for me. Perhaps it's awkward to admit that I fell in love at a very young age. I knew it was love, not the puppy love that my friends were talking about. It took me two years to move on. Yes, I cried and I did a lot of times. I really loved her.

Last year, I was able to contact her again. We agreed to meet several times but it always failed to materialize. Maybe it wasn't meant to happen. Early this year, we agreed to finally meet after about five years of not seeing each other. I was very excited back then but like the previous agreements, it also failed to happen. Few days prior to the actual meeting, perhaps I can call it a date, I met someone. And that's the next part of the story.

I was hearing this girl's name for quite some time already. Her name cropped up several times during organizational meetings and planning for the college elections. Finally, I saw her during the screening of "Ang Pamilyang Kumakain ng Lupa." It was in fact Joe Alban who told me that she was the gorgeous girl seated a couple of seats to our right. I was awed by her grace and appearance and immediately felt that I will like her. I looked forward to the start of the campaign season because we will be housed together.

To cut the long story short, we shared some time together during the campaign and the hours after that. In a short span of time, I got to know her. We shared some laughs, some giggles, talked about some serious matters, dined together, walked from the Shopping Center to Ilang-Ilang Residence Hall under the bright moon together, rode the jeepney together, accompanied her when she's about to go home after late night trainings, slept inside the same room together with our colleagues. When she's not around and wouldn't sleep over, her pillow was with me. Yes, I hugged it while I was sleeping. During those times, I really felt happy. In a short span of time, I fell in love with her.

I have mentioned earlier that I wanted this day to be a special one. It was because today is the fifth month since I told her that I love her. A text message received on that day at 6:28 pm said: "Tnx sa treat and flowers!Ü" Another text message was received last May 15 at 8:58 pm which said: "Grabe i tot ur just joking..bka d k mapalitan yan...tnx so much.." She appreciated what I have done for her. I was happy.

Five months have passed but still, it's not yet "us." On June 19 at 10:37 pm, I received another text message: "I really apprciate ol d tings dat u do bt jst lyk wat u sed im cmmitd wid a lot of stuff dats y i dnt wnt 2 nter yet in a relshp coz if ever i wil wont hve tym 4 it..ope u do nderstand,errr u cud stil luk 4 sum1 btter i mean u dnt hve to burdn ur self w8tin my fren.Ü" After that message, I still remained optimistic. It didn't explicitly say that she's dumping me. Yes, I acknowledged the fact that she's extremely busy with her numerous commitments and other things. She merely said that she's not yet ready or prepared. She even was concerned about me waiting for her. You might have a different interpretation about that text message but I have to stand by my interpretation that it wasn't over. There was still a chance to change her stand.

Now, let's get back to the first line of this post. It was a sad and painful day for me. I don't have the right to complain but I have to let this feeling out. Everytime I ask her out, she always decline. She has gazillion reasons why she couldn't commit. When I text her, it takes her hours to reply. Suwerte na ako nun because I usually don't receive a reply from her. Well, I'm used to it. When I call her, sometimes she doesn't take it. I couldn't tell whether it was intentional or I was just unlucky that her phone wasn't with her during those times. But in any case, I still am hurt. Today was a different case. I asked her out, sadly thru text message. I didn't get a reply throughout the day. We're actually classmates in one of my classes this afternoon. But throughout the entire class period, she's been texting. She said sorry for not replying because according to her, she didn't have load. I didn't buy that reason this time. I asked her if we can go out this week or next week but she declined. "Maraming midterms and papers due" according to her. Again, I didn't buy that excuse.

Bottom line is... I'm really hurt. I have never been so in love until now. I really, really, really love her. This is my loneliest day during the past five months of trying to win her. Bakit ba kapag sobra mong mahal ang isang tao, sobra ka ring masaktan?

If "you" are reading this, I want to tell you again that i love you. I don't know what will happen after this. Maybe I need some time to think. I don't know. But regardless of whatever that will happen in the future, always remember that I love you. I'll never get tired of repeating those words.

Isang kumustahan kay Sec. Raul Gonzales ng DoJ

2005-07-29T19:49:00.000+08:00

Kumusta naman Raul?! Iyong nasabi na ang Unibersidad ng Pilipinas, ang aking mahal na paaralan, ay training ground ng mga kalaban ng gobyerno. Tama ba naman iyan? Kumusta naman!

Kumusta naman Raul?! Ayon sa aking pagsasaliksik ukol sa iyong nakaraan, aking natagpuan na mayroon kang koneksyon sa Unibersidad. Nagsilbi kang lecturer sa UP Law Center. Ikaw rin ay kumuha ng iba't ibang pagsasanay o seminar sa Law Center at sa NCPAG, kapwa nasa Unibersidad na iyong binansagang kaaway ng gobyerno. Ibig bang sabihin ay kaaway ka rin nito? Kumusta naman!

Kumusta naman Raul?! Iyo bang napagtanto na ang ilan sa iyong mga kasama sa Gabinete ay mayroon ding koneksyon sa Unibersidad? Ang ibig sabihin ba nito ay kaaway din sila ng gobyerno? Kumusta naman!

Kumusta naman Raul?! Hindi mo ba nalalaman o napag-isip man lang na ang ilan sa iyong mga tauhan sa Kagawaran ng Hustisya ay mula rin sa Unibersidad na nabanggit? Sila ba ay kaaway ng gobyerno? Kumusta naman!

Kumusta naman Raul?! Alam mo ba ang iyong kasaysayan? Hindi ba't ilan sa mga naging Pangulo ng bansa, mga Senador, mga Kongresista (siya nga pala, ikaw rin ay naging Kongresista), at ilan sa mga pinuno ng mga kakampi mong lider ng civil society ay nagtapos din sa Unibersidad? Kumusta naman!

Kumusta naman Raul?! Sigurado akong alam mo na ang iyong ipinagtatanggol at pinakamamahal na Pangulo ay nagtapos din sa Unibersidad na iyon? Kung ako'y hindi nagkakamali ay ipinagmamalaki pa niya na siya ay nagtapos ng Doctorate degree sa Ekonomiks mula sa Unibersidad. Ang ibig bang sabihin nito ay kaaway siya ng gobyerno? Kumusta naman!

Kumusta naman Raul?! Aking sasagutin ang katanungang iyan. Hindi siya kaaway ng gobyerno. Kaaway siya ng taong bayan, ng masa, ng bansa! Malaki at malalim na ang sugat na kanyang ibinigay at patuloy na ibinibigay sa ating bayan. Sawa na ang mamamayan sa kanyang pamumuno. Pakisabi nga sa kanya na pag-isipan niya ng magbitiw sa puwesto. Sabihin mo na pakinggan niya ang panawagan ng kaguruan, ng mga mag-aaral, at ng buong komunidad ng kanyang pinagmulang Unibersidad. Pakiusap lang, Raul! Kumusta naman!

Kumusta naman Raul?! Akin ng nasabi ang nais ko. Isang payo lamang, unahan mo ng umalis sa puwesto ang bosing mo. Isa ka sa mga anay sa gobyerno! Isa ka sa mga kaaway ng taongbayan! Isa kang trapo! At anong gagawin mo, ako ba'y tatakutin mo at ihahabla? Aba, huwag ka namang mag-magaling at unahan ang Pangulo sa pagdeklara ng batas militar. Wala na bang kalayaan sa pamamahayag? Kung sabagay, mula ng napunta ka diyan, palagi ka ng nananakot. At huling payo, tignan mo muna ang iyong sarili bago ka manira ng ibang tao. Malinaw ba Raul? Kumusta naman!

Finally!

2005-07-23T16:11:00.000+08:00

Hi everyone! After weeks of pondering whether or not i'll make one, now you finally know what my decision is. What is this for ba? To talk about things we refuse or avoid to share when we're all together or just to publish secrets (what an oxymoron!)...hehe (",) I'm not actually used to writing diaries or writing my thoughts but at least I will try to do it here. Bahala na!

Anyways, hope you could all bear what I would post in the future. And by the way, visit me occasionally, huh?

Gotta run... Take care guys!